The day frogs grew teeth

In 1975, air traffic controllers and pilots across Quebec couldn't speak French to one another. An association was created to defend the rights of francophones to have the law on Official Languages enforced in the aviation industry. It met strong opposition, especially from so-called "friends," canadian controllers and airport managers across the country. The argument was that it wouldn't be safe to allow the use of French between controllers and pilots.

A commission was formed to study the question. Meanwhile, both sides campaigned fiercely for their cause. I saw a short documentary on television tonight about those years. I was absolutely shocked and appalled by some of the things I saw and heard. The pro-French side had buttons made that said "Il y a du Français dans l'air!" (There's French in the air). That's fine. A tasteful little play on words that gets their point across. The opposing side however, had buttons made that depicted a beaver strangling a frog. I cannot put into words the strength of the disgust I felt when I saw that. I literally got nauseated. The hypocritical pricks. How dared they pretend it was in the interest of safety while proudly wearing such a button. Why not have the balls to wear a button that said "We hate Quebeckers and resent that French was made an official language." I could respect someone like that. I may not like them but I could respect it. But this bullshit? How sickening.

In 1976 the Parti Québécois was elected and the battle for the right to speak French in the aviation industry became even more politicized. The frogs prevailed in the end, years later, and the monolingual beavers were sent home waddling with their big fat tail between their legs. Today, all Air Traffic Control frequencies in the Flight Information Region covering Quebec airspace are published as bilingual. Air Traffic Services are provided in both official languages, daily, and so bilingualism is a requirement for all controllers. Not a single incident in those 30 years has been attributed to the provision of air traffic services in French.

As a small distinct people in an English-speaking sea, we can't afford to not forgive. At some point in my youth, for several years I adamantly refused to learn English. I didn't like being told that I "had to" learn it. I was proud of my French heritage and I believed that learning English was disloyal, borderline treasonous. I know that many Quebeckers still feel this way. I don't anymore. Obviously, I learned English along the way, and willingly so, for my grammar and vocabulary wouldn't be half of what they are had I chosen to learn the bare minimum required by the school system.

I discovered at some point that knowledge of another language does not take away anything, it can only adds to what you already have. I realized that I could learn the language, enjoy its historical background and rich literature without forsaking my own heritage. I understood that languages are tools and that tools are not evil, only the people wielding them can be. Taking the best of both worlds is what I do today. Fanatics of either side would resent such a conciliatory approach, no doubt. Their loss, I say.

Minivanophobiac

In this post, I propose to examine the premise:

"All minivan drivers are a public hazard."

Disclaimer: Before you accuse me of hasty generalization, I would like to state that the opinions contained in this post pertain only to the writer's experience. Insofar as can be determined, they do not apply to rest of the world, unless logical reasoning should produce a conclusion that would thereby validate the premise as universally true.

What the hell is wrong with all these minivan drivers? They're all nuts! They just don't look where they're going! I've been meaning to post about this for a long time. I want to understand. Is there a "bad driver" gene that makes these people find minivans attractive? Unlikely. Then what? Another option is that the minivan corrupts. It turns good drivers into bad drivers. Surely some of those would like to look in their blind spot before switching lanes. Surely. But they don't, or can't, in which case we could deduce that there's a serious design flaw with the model.

Hypotheses:

1- There is a "bad driver" gene that causes to be attracted to minivans (and possibly SUV's, for those who also possess the "snob" gene).

2- The design of minivans causes a large blind spot for the driver.

Using Occam's razor, I choose number 2. This means that my hatred of minivans and their drivers can now officially be extended to encompass the entire universe, insofar as said unknown minivans are of a similar design.

I wonder if most people realize that side mirrors can be adjusted in a way that eliminates blind spots. If done properly, the passing car appears in the side mirror before it is completely gone from the rear view mirror. Granted this is with a car and maybe harder or even impossible with a minivan but I thought I should mention it in passing. I have seen so many near misses caused by minivans switching lanes. It pisses me off. I'm sure their mirrors could be adjusted better.

You know what else pisses me off? The fact that there are way too many of them on the road. Many more than necessary. I hear young parents say things like, "Oh Mary's expecting our second child. We're going shopping to buy a minivan!" and I have to bite my tongue, hard. Listen people. You do NOT need a minivan with two kids. You do NOT need a minivan with three kids. If you're a single parent, you do NOT need a minivan with four kids. How many families have 3 kids or more not in age to be driving their own car? Not nearly that many.

On the road, I avoid minivans like the plague. Do yourselves a huge favor and do the same.