Soothsaying Octopus

If you have been following the World Cup, chances are you have heard of Paul, the German octopus who has accurately predicted the outcome of all 6 of Germany's matches. If you haven't, do take a moment to Google him and perhaps watch him in action in one of the videos showing him making his prediction. In one article clearly not written by a gambler, we are warned to use Paul's auguries with caution, for he only got a success rate of 80% in his picks for the 2008 European Championships. That should draw a smirk out of the gamblers, for they would be thrilled with such results. I have been participating in the annual Peter King Challenge for the past two years, in which I pick the winning team of all NFL match ups every week. The first year, I did extremely well, even finishing in the top 50 nationwide (there is a time for humility and this is not it). Last year, I didn't fare quite as well and so, reading about Paul, it occurred to me that I should perhaps get my own clairvoyant mollusk.

Naturally, I spontaneously turned to the world's biggest marketplace: eBay. I was slightly shocked to read "0 results found for soothsaying octopus." Really? Now, Paul may very well be unique, but I at least expected all sorts of charlatans to rush out of the woodwork peddling prescient squids, divining calamari or myriad other prophetic cephalopods. Fortunately, eBay provides a handy link that reads "save this search and alert me later," so I at least should be among the first to find out about any new invertebrate psychics. I removed the soothsaying part and tried again, not really hoping to find anything but lo and behold, I came across the fantastic mug depicted above. I have a thing for kitschy mugs and I am just enamored with this one. It is listed for 32 some dollars + shipping, a bit steep even for this kind of love. However, should a generous reader want to offer it to me as a gift, I would cherish it for the rest of my days and pass it on as part of my estate.

But back to the topic at hand. In lieu of acquiring my own fortune-telling mollusk, I have decided to test the two resident felines for potential psychic abilities. Belle and Mr. Cocoa will be casting their own predictions in the 2010 Peter King Challenge, for all the Steelers' games. The parameters will be rigorously controlled: identical food dishes marked with the teams' logo containing precisely the same number of kibbles will be lowered at the same time and in an equidistant feline-to-either-dish location. The results will be filmed and recorded. Who knows, perhaps in the wake of the next Superbowl, the most popular eBay search will be "soothsaying cat."