Green is a Cool Color

I have been ruminating this post for ages. I have finally decided that penning this unpopular opinion will be a liberating action in relieving some of my frustration. Warning: This is not going to be politically correct. Here is my thesis:

Eco-friendliness is a sham.

It is trendy smoke and mirrors. It is the new feel-good, socially praised opium of the people. It is the natural successor that is filling a void left behind by a decaying religious faith. Its zealots are crazed. They stalk neighbors and co-workers, relentlessly attempting to convert the sinners. "You should use a glass mug instead of a paper cup," "Do you know how many gallons of water are needed to make those jeans?" "Make sure to turn off the computer when you're done."

Eco-freaks, please give me a break.

Maybe I use a paper cup at work and you use a glass mug. Maybe when I shop for groceries I buy my supplies in large containers and you buy dozens of individual size yogurts and juice boxes for your kid. Maybe it took 1 500 gallons of water to make my jeans but maybe I buy a new pair once every 5 years. I don't drink alcohol, but if you do, say 6 beers a week for those same 5 years that I happily wore my eco-unfriendly jeans, you will be responsible for a loss of water 4.5 times greater than that of my evil denim. Turning a computer on and off frequently is believed by some to shorten its lifespan, inducing stress on the fragile components by the constant cooling/heating cycle. You may have saved a bit of energy but if your computer dies a year earlier, think about all those electronic parts that may or may not be recycled.

My first point, if it has not been made clear yet, is that the carbon footprint is a balance sheet that is immense in scale. It is in fact unmeasurable. There are more unknown elements on that sheet than known, and those credits and debits can all be argued by both sides with no one able to prove any measurable impact. Nobody knows for real. Nobody can know.

My second point is that all things "green" are cool these days. Just watch the marketing. People love all things eco-friendly because it makes them feel good. It brings them comfort to know that they are doing something to help our world. I think that's just dandy. My plea, however, is this: do not let the comfort turn into self-righteousness. Do what makes you feel good but stop preaching. Because if we start a tally, I am positive my life's carbon footprint will have been smaller than most, and exponentially decreasing over centuries compared to the one of anyone with a child. That, as shockingly politically incorrect as it may be, is an undeniable truth.

All that being said, I am no spawn of Satan spitefully wasting along. I do think it is a good idea to live by the three "R's" (Reduce - Reuse - Recycle). I do what I can and am always interested in finding new ways to make my life more eco-friendly. In fact, just the other day, I was selecting paint for my basement under construction. I stood in the store considering my options. Suddenly, I knew what I needed. I thought to myself, "Let's do the trendy thing, let's go green!" Quite pleased with myself, I smirked and reached for the "Mossy Landing" sample swatch.