Ô pure Venus!
My 22 year-old friend and co-worker Jean-François drove home to Rimouski for the weekend. Rimouski is a quaint little town on the St. Lawrence River with about 33k of population. The website boasts "We had planned 2 days in Rimouski but we ended up spending our entire vacation there!" which I think is pretty funny, without taking anything away from that nice little town.
One night he went out with a friend to a crowded bar popular among the locals. After a while he noticed a lady was constantly staring at him. She appeared to be in her mid-50's and, to use Jean-François euphemism, "life hadn't been kind to her." Years of hard partying showed on her face. Eventually, probably tired of waiting on him, she just went over to their table and plopped herself down on a chair. "Hi!" she said, "you really smell good!" Jean-Francois thanked her politely. "I'm Venus," she adds after realizing that he wasn't going to pursue the conversation. Jean-François smirked. "Venus?" She nods. "You know what I do for a living, right?" He shakes his head. "I don't live in Rimouski anymore. I'm not current on local events." She beams. "I own 'Chez Venus', it's a strip joint!" Jean-François and his friend, not sure of how they're expected to react to this, decide to go with a noncommittal "Oh."
As I listened to the story, I interjected "So, Venus is a retired stripper who runs a strip joint?" J-F snickers. "She's not retired." He picked up the tale where he left off. Venus, having drunk her fair share of alcohol that night, generously offered my friend a live display of her particular abilities, on the spot. He quickly turned it down but she wouldn't hear of it. "We're gay," he said, thinking that it would finally end the discussion. Venus waved a hand dismissively. "And I'm a lesbian!" She turned around and bellowed "Linda! Get over here! We're gonna do a little show!"
Venus and Linda went at it on J-F's table. Completely drunk and fully naked, they danced and strutted and wiggled their endowments. The bar crowd was cheering them on, chanting "Venus! Venus! Venus!" while banging on floor and tables. Someone yelled "Do your special trick, Venus!" and shortly after, a bottle of whipped cream found its way to Venus.
Jean-Francois has a way of telling stories. Hyperbole is a way of life for him. I was laughing hysterically by the end of the story. I kept repeating "Gawd how pathetic!" and "I don't believe you! You're making this up!" but he swears to me that it's all true. His friend even took a picture of the action with his cell phone.
When the story was over, I leaned towards him and said, "Hey, smell my new perfume. Tell me what you think." I stretched my neck in his direction. He smelled it and immediately started laughing. And laughing. And laughing some more. "What? What!" I kept repeating. "What's wrong? You don't like it?" When he had calmed down enough, he explained. "That's what Venus was wearing! What is it?" Slightly perplexed, I managed to answer. "Pure, by Alfred Sung." From the other side of the room, another controller who had silently listened to the whole story said, "Venus wears 'Pure'?" and we all exploded with laughter once more.
Jean-François has since decided that Venus would make an excellent nickname for me.
One night he went out with a friend to a crowded bar popular among the locals. After a while he noticed a lady was constantly staring at him. She appeared to be in her mid-50's and, to use Jean-François euphemism, "life hadn't been kind to her." Years of hard partying showed on her face. Eventually, probably tired of waiting on him, she just went over to their table and plopped herself down on a chair. "Hi!" she said, "you really smell good!" Jean-Francois thanked her politely. "I'm Venus," she adds after realizing that he wasn't going to pursue the conversation. Jean-François smirked. "Venus?" She nods. "You know what I do for a living, right?" He shakes his head. "I don't live in Rimouski anymore. I'm not current on local events." She beams. "I own 'Chez Venus', it's a strip joint!" Jean-François and his friend, not sure of how they're expected to react to this, decide to go with a noncommittal "Oh."
As I listened to the story, I interjected "So, Venus is a retired stripper who runs a strip joint?" J-F snickers. "She's not retired." He picked up the tale where he left off. Venus, having drunk her fair share of alcohol that night, generously offered my friend a live display of her particular abilities, on the spot. He quickly turned it down but she wouldn't hear of it. "We're gay," he said, thinking that it would finally end the discussion. Venus waved a hand dismissively. "And I'm a lesbian!" She turned around and bellowed "Linda! Get over here! We're gonna do a little show!"
Venus and Linda went at it on J-F's table. Completely drunk and fully naked, they danced and strutted and wiggled their endowments. The bar crowd was cheering them on, chanting "Venus! Venus! Venus!" while banging on floor and tables. Someone yelled "Do your special trick, Venus!" and shortly after, a bottle of whipped cream found its way to Venus.
Jean-Francois has a way of telling stories. Hyperbole is a way of life for him. I was laughing hysterically by the end of the story. I kept repeating "Gawd how pathetic!" and "I don't believe you! You're making this up!" but he swears to me that it's all true. His friend even took a picture of the action with his cell phone.
When the story was over, I leaned towards him and said, "Hey, smell my new perfume. Tell me what you think." I stretched my neck in his direction. He smelled it and immediately started laughing. And laughing. And laughing some more. "What? What!" I kept repeating. "What's wrong? You don't like it?" When he had calmed down enough, he explained. "That's what Venus was wearing! What is it?" Slightly perplexed, I managed to answer. "Pure, by Alfred Sung." From the other side of the room, another controller who had silently listened to the whole story said, "Venus wears 'Pure'?" and we all exploded with laughter once more.
Jean-François has since decided that Venus would make an excellent nickname for me.
posted by Nathalie at 11:19 AM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home