How are you?

People ask and get asked this question all the time. You cross someone at the cafeteria or you wait in line with them at the copier.

"Hey, how are you?"
"Good good, and how are you?"
"Oh I'm good."
"Great!"

Most of us have a conversation like this every day. Why do we ask? Because we don't really wait for the answer anyway. We know they're going to answer "Good!" "Doing well!" "Awesome!" and for the most daring, a "Not too bad" perhaps. To be polite? For lack of something more interesting to say? Because we hasten the pace, just in case they answer something unexpected such as "Not so great" or, God forbid, "Not well at all." What would we do then?

I can tell you. Because I've done it myself less than a week ago. Someone answered me with "Not well" and we both chuckled, me thinking what a funny guy he was. It's only days later that I thought, what if he was serious? The fact is, I chose to assume he was kidding because it was the most comfortable position for me. How many of us have answered "I'm well" when we really weren't? I know I have. Is it really because I wouldn't like to talk about it? In some situations, I'm sure that's the case. But I'm thinking about another reason for that little lie. I think we know they just don't want to listen. We know that if we answer "Not well," an awkward chuckle or silence will most likely follow.

I'm going to try to change that about myself. I'd love for someone to turn around and tell me "Really? What's going on? Wanna talk about it?" Even if I didn't want to talk about it with that particular person, just that small expression of concern, the feeling of another human being leaving their bubble for a minute and reaching out to me would be enough to bring me a small measure of comfort. I'm going to try to do that for others.