The loaded scales of corporate justice

Next Wednesday I will be attending a full day seminar on harassment in the workplace. Attendance is made mandatory by my employer. Honestly, I'm afraid of what is going to be taught. A few months ago, the employer started campaigning and raising awareness on respect and tolerance. New posters went up on the walls; a new professional code of conduct was published. I believe this is due to some recent occurrences of sexual harassment.

Harassment of any kind, and especially sexual, is a touchy issue. I think the whole process is totally mishandled. Everyone has their own personal comfort zone. A salacious comment can trigger laughter in one person and utter shock in another. Certainly, we can agree that the limit of what is or is not acceptable varies from one person to the other. This poses a problem to any employer wishing to enforce a no-harassment policy. How to determine what is ok and what isn't? They found a simple answer. If the victim determines it was unacceptable, then so it was.

So far, I think that this is a reasonable approach. This is where reasonable ends though. I have seen a few guys get pulled into the office and told that they were sexually harassing some of the girls. Every time, the guy was totally shocked. They were oblivious to the fact that some comments or brief contacts could have unsettled someone. To me, harassment implies malevolent intent. I don't think a guy is harassing a woman if he's totally unaware of how he's making her feel. If he is told in an unequivocal way and persists, then yeah, go ahead and lock him up with my blessing. Until that very step, I think the employer should not be involved in any way.

Personally, I strongly believe that women should be encouraged to voice their discomfort to the person directly. It happened to me, in the very same workplace, less than a year ago. One of the security guards was constantly making comments to me. At first, I thought nothing of them. I figured I was misunderstanding, that I was imagining things. As time went by, my discomfort grew. Eventually I decided that regardless of his intent, what mattered was that I wasn't comfortable and for that reason alone, these comments should stop. So one day I gathered my courage and told him about it. I explained that I was sure he didn't mean anything by them but I still wanted him to stop it. He apologized profusely and promised to stop immediately, which he did. End of story. If I had gone to the management, there would be a note in this dear man's file. Absolutely unfair.

Unfortunately this is what is being taught to women. "You don't have to tolerate this! Report it immediately!" Now, I can understand that not every woman is comfortable with such a direct approach as what I would like to see. A council of peers could be formed. Non-judgmental co-workers chosen for their empathy and objectivity. They could serve as an intermediary to pass along the message, at best, and as a witness if things take a turn for the worst. It makes me angry that it should be so easy for a woman to tarnish a man's reputation. I don't blame it on the woman; I blame it on the system. Humans are lazy and that breeds creatures of the extreme. A healthy balance is hard to reach and harder still to maintain. It's too easy to let ourselves be lulled by a comfortable extreme.