Sky-blue colored chains

I used to be in the air cadets in my teenage years. That's where my interest in aviation came from. Through the organization I was able to go gliding several times and even earned a ride aboard a rescue helicopter. I loved the feeling of flying immediately yet for some reason, it took me a few years to think about becoming a pilot. Flying is very expensive. The course itself is several thousand dollars and afterwards you have to rent an aircraft at a pricy hourly rate and fly a minimum of hours every year to maintain a valid license. I didn't think I'd be able to maintain the license but I figured I could try out for the course anyway.

The air cadets awarded a certain number of scholarships every year to cover the cost of the training. During the school year, I spent my time studying basic theory of flight, meteorology, physics and the workings of flight instruments. In the spring, I took the scholarship written exam. I passed with flying colors and moved on to the next step, the interview. I've always been naturally comfortable with the interview process. At the time of this one, even though I was only sixteen, I had gone through several military interviews and had competed for two years in public speaking contests. I was ready to blow them away.

I thought I did well. I expected to be offered a scholarship. I wasn't. The committee met with me later in the day to give me their answer. They believed that I was a valuable candidate; however they preferred to award the motorized scholarship (the one I had applied for) to someone who had previously obtained a glider license. They recommended that next year I try out for the glider course and the following year the motorized course. This was the first of what I considered major failures in my life. Ironically enough, the second major failure was also going to be related to the military. I'll save that story for another time.

I knew I wouldn't be in the cadets long enough to do both the gliding and motorized course. That's why I had applied directly for the motorized, even after being warned by my instructor that the committee was not fond of students skipping the gliding. Other projects came along; I became a dance instructor and set my avian yearnings aside.

Today I work in the aviation industry. I talk to pilots on radio frequencies and guide the little data tag on the radar that represents their aircraft. Often times, when two targets merge, I find myself wishing I was in the cockpit to see this huge Boeing fly just above me at nearly one thousand kilometers per hour. The sky calls to me again and this time I will not resist it.

I've decided to enroll in a hang gliding school once I've bought and furnished my new house. My desire to fly is as strong as ever, but the method has changed. I no longer want to be disturbed by the alien, quasi-sacrilegious sound of an engine. I want to soar like a bird, gliding with only the help of wings and my understanding of nature. I feel that my body would stay behind, anchored to the edge of the cliff, while my weightless soul took off, unfettered. Oh I know that this is only an illusion of freedom, a trick of nature. I don't care. I still squeal in delight when I see a rabbit pulled out of a hat.

"No one is free, even the birds are chained to the sky."

- Bob Dylan